The Response

By: Samra’a Luqman

Question to Dr Relationship:

Where is my Mr. Perfect?

Dr Relationship’s Answer:

Your mr. perfect is happily married to some boater chick who has whipped him into perfection by trapping him with half a dozen kids and good aseed.

If u are really lazy, i recommend that u steal someone else’s mr. perfect. Otherwise, find one who is short of perfection and af7aseee 3aro.

If u go this route, there are some important issues i must advise u on. First, short of perfection means he either lacks in body, mind, heart, or bank account. here are the scenarios:

1. if he’s ugly, everyone will make fun of u, him, and ur ugly ass children the rest of ur nasty-looking lives. but he’ll luv u, ull be able to have decent conversations, and ull get by in financial bliss ur entire lives, until the day he dies and even the maggots refuse to eat his face.

2. if hes dumb, ull need to get a special CIA code breaker to read his text messages, BUT he’ll be hot and u can count on receiving gifts on those special days, both because he loves u and because he can afford them.

3. if he doesnt love u, who gives a fk? uv got the hottest, richest, smartest man around and ur the 1 that gets to spend his money. if u get really lonely, hire a personal male mistress. ur hubby wont mind cuz he doesnt give a shit about u anyway and hasnt touched u in 8 years. so grab that credit card, slide it down the crack of the strippers butt, and smile baby.

and last but not least………………………

4. if he lacks in bank account, RUNNNNNNNNNNNN……………… child, dont believe the hype, no matter how much he loves u, how much he engages ur mind, or how absolutely drop dead gorgeous that man is, ull be living dirt poor on the streets and miserable the rest of ur pathetic, broke ass lives.

what it comes down to is this: ugliness, stupidity, and bad communication can all be looked passed if YOU love HIM. but over-withdrawal fees and bill collectors calling ur house. those are cold hard facts that cannot be ignored.

my advice? choose man #3

The response.

Question to Dr Relationship’s more intelligent twin:
Where is my Mr. Perfect?

Dr Relationship’s Answer:

Your Mr. Perfect could only possibly be in one of three places:

Yes, he may be “happily married to some boater chick.” But why not play with that metaphor some more? So, yes, he chose her.. “the boater chick”. But do you blame him? At least she stayed on the boat while you jumped head first into the water and wasted your time checking out all the other fish in the sea. Don’t steal her Mr. Perfect because frankly, you don’t deserve him. She may be from back home, but at least he knows he’ll have fresh, warm food on the table every time he comes home and not the food you had your mom cook last week that you store in the freezer and thaw out when he arrives. So since you don’t deserve Mr. perfect, your options are limited. You will have to compromise. Most commonly you’ll have to choose between looks and intelligence, or wealth and love. And chances are you’ll go with looks and wealth.

So considering that you take these routes let me entertain you with some possible scenarios:

1) So hes hot. Sounds great…behind closed doors that is. The public eye however has a different opinion. You’ll have to live the rest of your life knowing that everyone else looks at him and thinks, what the heck is he doing with her? As you haunch over the toilet clenching that Seventeen magazine trying to lose those few extra pounds, you’ll probably realize that going with this option wasn’t too good for your own self-esteem.

2) So hes wealthy. Congratulations. You can definitely try to use his money to buy yourself everything. Even happiness? Maybe. But why marry if this is what you desire? Try robbing a bank. Face it, you’re a woman. And no matter how hard you try to act, you’re miserable without him. Stop lying to yourself. You want his love, not some paid meat you pick up from the STD market.  So when the only meat you find that day is “crabs”…..i doubt you’ll be smiling…..baby.

My advice: Forget looks, wealth, intelligence and yes, even love, since often times  love remains undefinable.

Find the guy who brings you closer to God and makes you remember death.

Because when it comes down to it, that is the only thing that is certain in your life, death.

As you age, looks will fade, you will most probably develop alzheimers or dementia, and chances are they won’t bury you with your money.

But death, t hat’s for certain.

So in the very beginning the question asked was, where is Mr. Perfect?

I stated one of three places. One being that you lost him him while you were chasing the other guys. You decided that it was more important to enjoy the present than to think about the future. If you happen to fall in this category then I feel bad for you.

Otherwise, you may have found Mr. perfect, but due to circumstances, you can never be together. *** If this is the case, know that at one time, when souls were created we were all lined up, like soldiers in an army. It is said that those we get along best with in this world, such as those that keep us smiling and keep us happy, t hose are the people that were standing near us when our souls were given. Remain content with the fact that he may have stood near you when you soul was given. You may not get them in this life, but pray for their happiness and maybe your happiness will be granted to you in the next.

Finally, Mr. perfect may still be out there. Cliché, yes. But it still may hold true. Have patience. Be satisfied with who you are, and when you are, then maybe, you will find him… and be satisfied with who he is.

Stay tuned for the word of the day…

***Reference: Hadith (Imam Bukhari) (Muslim)
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Day of Judgment

I find that inspiration decides to capture me when I pull all-nighters, or on the days that are not intended to be all-nighters, but turn out to be.  One such night, thoughts of the Day of Judgment wouldn’t leave my head, and I came up with this:

 

Day of Judgment.

 

I apologize.  Forgive me.  I-m, Im sorry.  I’m even sorry that I keep saying I’m sorry.  I know that you know that I know I’ve wronged.  Prolonged by the refusal to let “bygones be bygones.”  The truth of the matter is, I forgot.  I forgot about the epic fight against someone I was not.  The truth of the matter is I had to act, because it was a fact that those who deserved it would come in the way when I would react.  And don’t mistake my laugh for something I’m trying to hide.  But listen, I died without finishing the canvas that I was supplied.  Idle hands are the devils tools and at that time he was working with power machines, consuming dreams, ambitions left drowning in the stream.  Let me be honest, I will lose this protest of tongue versus flesh as I create a woven mesh laying my guilt to rest, test what it would be like to speak without speaking, shriek without shrieking standing there exposed… weeping.  I am sorry that my taste for company was like Van Goughs ear for Music.  But what is the point in being brave when life takes you spinning in this frantic tidal wave as you fall victim and become societies slave.  But you have to understand that I tried to do good.  I attempted to pray and worship all I could.  As merciful as you are, the fact remains “I was close…. but no cigar.”  Now as I transcend from this world to the next, I ask you to pay attention to the next line of text.  As I stand before him, I want the ground to fracture under the incredible mass of my apology. I’m sorry I wanted so much. I’m sorry that I tried to use “I’m sorry” as a crutch to lean on for so long, but its too late, I’m gone.  You must understand there was a method to my madness… but my time was due.   However, in here there was a message for you. Take it in, but don’t bite off more than you can chew.

 

In the game of life, I lost. 

 

On that day, I stood unaccomplished drenched in tears, scared, trembling in the body that had been laid to rot.

 

I hope you were hungry because that was food for thought.

 

Call me an Anti-feminist if you like…

Call me anti-feminist if you like but…

 

What is wrong with seeking something greater than the self, more pertinent than the fruits of some labor?

 

Why perpetuate a world of selfish desires.  Are we not willing to give up our own fulfillment for the betterment of our family?  The occupations we seek, the rights we desire, what are they to accomplish?  Will they help us become better mothers and wives but more importantly servants to Allah (swt)?  Without perfecting these roles, how can we even begin to ask for more?

 

What is wrong with being a mother: a profession that allows you to leave behind a true legacy?

 

We can’t deny that we were in fact created different.  It is the most beautiful and satisfying part of life, and we were the ones who were blessed with this position.  We are the nurturers.  As we render our children, watch them grow, we extinguish our longing to care.  Yes, some of us desire to be doctors, teachers some of us even chefs.  The beauty of a mother is that it allows you to be the doctor for their flu, chef for their lunch-box meals and teacher for their learning and understanding of the world around them… all in one.

 

What is wrong with wanting to have warm food prepared on the table when my husband (to be determined…) comes home after a hard day of work?

 

There is immense joy, delight, and assurance that comes with that which we do as women, but why are some still not satisfied, why do some deny their role and seek another?  Although upon receiving the meal, it may bring him gratification, it’s a selfish act.  Seeing his contentment will bring more gratification then a prepared plate of warm food will for him.  Prophet (s) said. “If, while cooking food, tears come out of her eyes due to smoke, Allah will write a reward for her such as the reward of those warriors (in the way of Allah) whose eyes shed tears from the fear of Allah.”  SubhanAllah.

 

What is wrong with wanting to listen to him and do that which he says needs to be done?

 

Does it not make you happy to show how you care for him?  To show you love him?  To show your love for Allah (swt)?  And not just any love, but a selfless and unselfish love.  A sacrificial love.  A love of commitment.  We obey Allah (swt) because we love him, and for his sake, for the love of Allah (swt), would you deny seeking the gratification of your husband?  We were blessed with a spirit of reason and understanding, an ability to offer peace, stability and comfort.  Is it so demanding to provide stability to the home when he takes the responsibility to provide stability for your life? 

 

But still some remain unsatisfied.

 

“I am woman hear me roar”—Ha.

 

And so came the birth of the women’s rights movement.

 

Fighting sexism by perpetuating it with terms like “feminism”

 

Putting on slacks and that fancy suit coat doesn’t emancipate us, in fact it is now that we are truly enslaved: enslaved to society’s deadlines and rigid schedules succumbing to a system that serves to instill values of greed and haste.

 

Oh my beautiful sisters,

 

Call me anti-feminst if you like…

But why seek this self- designed, pseudo-liberation when I’d rather await true liberation…liberation from the dunya… when my reward is with Allah (swt)?

Silence

To many silence is peaceful and comforting.  It is an escape from the boisterous noises of life.  To me silence was always accompanied with fear.  This would be the sound I would hear as I lay in my grave:  The mute blackness of death.  I find that I am surrounding myself in silence lately.  The fear of it serves as a persuasive reminder.  As I immerse in it day to day, I’ve almost become accepting of it.  It allows me to hear my own thoughts.  It allows me to reflect.  I found the voice of my silence, and now I’m using this blog to turn up the volume. 

Though this is really not meant to be read, if you read this and can take something out of it, and benefit from it, it is solely due to the will of Allah (swt); all good comes from Him.  If I say anything that is wrong and you find it disagreeable, it is a result of my own doing, and for that I ask for your forgiveness.

bismillah hirahman niraheem….